Pain and Forgiveness
by FoxKid1302
Summary: Warning: Gore, character death (almost), turtlecest. Inspired by music video of "It's all coming back to me" of Celine Dion (look it up on Youtube). Read at your own risk.


Leo wrapped himself in the blanket, curled in his darkened room, tear trickling down his face. Not too long ago he just punched Raph. Leo never let his emotion gets the better of him, but tonight, he did, when Raph came back in his Nightwatcher suit. Night after night Leo waited for his hothead brother, following by a lecture and stopped by a wave of dismiss by Raph. What make him so obsessed with this vigilante business, Leo never knows. All he knew was that he was worried sick when Raph disappeared alone with that suit, without him or any of their brothers to cover his back. Tonight was the last drop, when Leo saw a line of blood along the emerald neck, where the skin was vulnerably exposed. They yelled at each other, loud enough to wake up the whole city. No one listened to what the other had to say, and it only stopped when Leo lost it and punched Raph square on the cheek. The shock in those golden orbs was what stopped everything. Leo darted for his room before Raph could even snap out of it.

The pain his the leader's chest just kept growing, like a cancer turmoil. At one point Leo thought it would be better to stab himself rather than enduring this pain. He showed Raph how strong he could be, grounding him, showing him how severe the punishment could become if he disobey order again. But inside Leo, it was chaos. He couldn't be strong all the time. Not always. Not when the source of his strength turned against him. Raph seemed to have forgotten how important he was to the leader. When in time of doubt, all Leo needed was to look at those golden orbs, and he knew what to do. When to attack, when to retreat, when to sacrifice and who would do that... But it's all meaningless now. It would take a miracle for them to talk to each other again in the morning...

Leo sprang up when the sound of motor bike engine penetrated the silence in the lair. Barging out the door, the leaf green turtle was blinded by the light of the bike. Shielding his eyes, Leo could make out the faint outline of the Nightwatcher.

- Raph? What are you doing? I thought I told you that you are grounded! - He shouted over the roar of the engine. How come master Splinter didn't hear anything to intervene?

All the reply he received was another engine roar. Nightwatcher drifted the bike along the living room and shot out of the lair's gate. Leo immediately gave chase. It was a losing game of tag. Whenever he could get close to the vehicle, Raph just drove away from him, until they reached an opening leads to the surface. With more room to maneuver, the leader turtle jumped to the nearest rooftop, intended to intercept the bike and its driver. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a truck drove past by, cutting off the bike's path, and Nightwatcher rammed hard to it.

KABOOM!

If the collision only made Leo's heart stopped, the explosion followed after that made his whole body shattered. He didn't realize what his body did after that, his mind barely registered the scream of his own voice. He hardly felt the burn on his hands when he dug through the wreckage, finding Raph's body, or at least what's left of it. Leo backed away in horror when the Nightwatcher's helmet fell out from the blazing flame, one deep dent craved into it, and a dark red liquid splattered the inside. Refused to give up, Leo dove into the fire once more, ignoring the scorching heat engulfing his body.

A piercing scream drew Leo's attention. Through his watery eyes, he barely made out a deformed figure, coughing out blood and gasping for breath. Leo reached out to that figure, feeling his hands getting heavy, as if they were filled with lead. An alarm went off in his mind when Leo realized the heat had seeped into his lungs, and the burning sensation on his hands when he tightened his grip around that figure. Muster what's left of his strength, the blue clad turtle pulled himself out of the flame along with the person in his hands.

_'If it was the driver of the truck, then I'll just have to dive in there again.'_

That phrase became a non-stop mantra in Leo's head when he tried to gain some distance between him and the fire. Looking down, he almost choked in relief when the figure in his hands was of Raph, but then horror kicked in...

What the leaf green turtle could pull out was only half of his brother's body. Raph's left leg and arm were reduced to charcoal, withered into something unrecognizable. His left side, which was supposed to be covered in the suit's armor, was now torn off and heavily bleeding. To Leo's horror, he could make out a small part of Raph's intestine dangling out from it. All thoughts were drained from his mind just as life was drained from his emerald brother. His body shook at every time Raph made an attempt to breath. This was exactly what he feared, that's why he forbade the hothead to continue this vigilante nonsense, only to be disobeyed the moment he turned around. But all that didn't even make it to Leo's brain. Right at this moment, all he could think about was to be by Raph's side, for better or for worse. Trembling leather hand reached up to cupped his cheek, drawing his attention to those golden orbs, now started to lose their spark.

- I... I'm sorry...

The apology pierced Leo's heart worse than any blade could cut him. But instead of pain, the leader felt a wave of tranquility washed over him. He slowly scooped up the remaining of Raph's body, holding it against his chest as close as possible.

- I'm sorry... - Raph's voice now sounded not louder than a whisper.

Leo found no word to reply. His throat burned as hot as the flame they just got out of, and his brain was even worse than the wreckage. The only thing came to his mind was to tightened the grip on Raph's body, which was getting colder by the second.

- I'm... sorry...

With those last words, the Nightwatcher's hand fell from Leo's cheek.

One drop... Two drop... Then rain started pouring down on him. Light from the fire slowly dwindled, then died, letting shadow embrace Leo. He felt nothing, not even the pain in his hands, the cold of the rain and the limp of his brother's corpse. He just sat there, held on to Raph's body like a statue, when realization slowly seeped in, like acid corroding his mind, until he could take it no longer...

- NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!

Leo sprang up from his bed, sweat mixed with tear dripping down his face. He was in the lair? But the bike, the crash...

... Raph?

Leo shot out of his room only to find an absolute quiet lair, except for the bang of another open door next to his room. Spun around, he saw Raph standing in the doorway, the trace of death and horror still visible on emerald skin.

For a moment nobody moved. They just stood there, taking long, deep gaze into each other's eyes. Could they be dreaming the same dream? Was it all a dream in the first place? Golden orbs met black pearls, and the answer was immediately confirmed. Raph walked over to his elder in one stride, pulling him in a bear hug, with both of his arms embracing the leaf green turtle. Leo returned the hug almost instantly. They both still trembled from the quake of the nightmare, but feeling each other, warm and alive, fear melted from their body like snow.

- I'm sorry - Raph whispered.

- It's ok, Raph. I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have acted like that.

- No, I deserved it. I was a jerk...

Leo pushed himself away so he could look at Raph. Shaking his head, he refused to acknowledge Raph's self insult. Leaning in, Leo place a long, hard, burning kiss on those emerald lips. Whatever they fought about, it was never worth it, not when they couldn't live without the other.

- Just for you to know, I don't kiss jerk. - Leo breathed over Raph's lips.

Raph stared into those black orbs of his brother. Forgiveness couldn't be shown any clearer than what he saw. With one swift move, the red clad turtle swiped his brother off his feet, carry in bridal style in those muscular arms.

- At least let me make it up ta ya. Yer room?

A nod was all he needed. Closing the door behind them, they didn't notice a pair of eye had been observing their every single move.

- My work here is done - master Splinter mumbled to himself.

Blowing off the candles, the old rat rested his head down the pillow and was fast asleep instantly. Conjuring such vivid images took a lot out of him, but as long as his sons learnt the lesson, it was worth the effort...


End file.
